Why does it always happen to me??

There was a spider in the kitchen today. Big, long-legged, eeky as all hell, you name it. It was sitting there peacefully or spinning the web or what the fuck when I went to work. So I come home, and what do I see? No spider. Nothing, nope, nada. Zero.

The problem? WHERE THE HELL IS IT????? We were going to buy a vacuum-cleaner tomorrow so that we could suck it up and let it out, but it's gone!!

The doors to the kitchen and the bathroom are closed, so it's got to be somewhere in the kitchen and as long as it stays there and don't come into the bedroom I can live with it. There's just one tiny problem - to get to the bathroom, you've got to pass through the kitchen. To leave the flat, you've got to pass through the kitchen.

As soon as I can afford it, I'm going on a spider-phobia-training-course! X.x

The spider season has officially begun. -.-

There's one sitting in the corner up by the roof and it's big enough for me to see it from the bed - without my glasses on! Considering that I'm blind as a bat without them, you can guess its size.

I'm off to work to drop off the paper I got from the hospital to my boss so he can do whatever he has to do with it. Blah.

Some days I swear my job's out to kill me!

First, I stumble over the vacuum-cleaner and I honestly thought I'd sprained my ankle. It hurt like fuckfuckfuck and it took me a minute to be able to stand on the leg again. Okay, so I survived that more or less intact. *kicks vacuum-cleaner*
Next thing that happened was my own imagination coupled with a CD I borrowed from Tweetie. She gets a bunch of free Promo-CDs to write reviews about from the metalzine and I plan on smuggling one or two into my CD-player whenever I can. ;p
Anyway, to be able to explain properly I have to give you some background idea about the office where I work. On the second floor there is a big and a small office and on the first floor there's one big one. Usually when I come up on the second floor it's more or less empty, with maybe one or two people still around. The little office is the one which I always bitch about, and the big office on that floor is the one where there is... something. With "something" I mean that there's something living there. I often feel watched when I know I'm alone and I've also seen some dark "shadow" woosh past my back.
Basically, that office scare the fuck out of me. I usually take music on when I work there alone and sing to it, it calms me and keeps that "something" away. It's not something evil, or something like that, but it's there and I don't think it likes me. The house is maybe 10 years old or something and it's basically too young for it to be something there, but you tell that to that thing and see what happens.
So, still with me? Good, 'cause now we're introducing a song called "Maximum Satan" from the latest Annihilator-CD that I... "borrowed" from Tweetie. There's talking in the beginning, some TV-sounds and also someone - or something - growling. When I first listened to it on the way to work I missed that part.
All set? Okay, here we go! Imagine, if you will, a short, fat, Swedish cleaning woman all alone in a big office where she knows that there is something. Imagine her listening to music and whistling along whenever she can. Imagine her CD-player go back to track one, and she hears the talking and doesn't think anything of it. Imagine the growls starting in the middle of the talking. Imagine our heroine having a fucking heart-attack before she realizes that whatever's growling isn't breathing down her neck like she thought, but is actually a part of the track.
Jesus fuck, I thought I was going to have a heart-attack for real. @.+ Especially since I know that that office doesn't like me at all and I would honestly not be surprised if whatever's in there is upping its tries to scare me off with starting with noises. @.@

Still with me? Good, then we only have the worst left. The biggest spider I've seen here so far - even bigger than the Spider of Doom that lived in the basement.
So I go into the little office, start with the dishes and sing along to the music. At some point I look down on my stomach and guess what I see? Yup, something -sitting- on me. So I squeal like a pig and hit it - poor thing - with the sponge I was holding. It fell down on the floor and the last thing I saw of it was when it ran for its life under a computer-table.
Yeah, you laugh at me, but the damn thing was as big as the palm of my hand with the legs out and it was -sitting- on -me-!!

My God, work hates me... @.@